A little while ago I was talking to a friend about a date she went on. It wasn’t going particularly well at the start, they both realized there was no chemistry in the middle, and at the end of the date the guy didn’t even offer to pay for dinner.
Instead, he just assumed they would pay their own way. I’m sorry, maybe I’ve watched too many romantic comedies, but even if it’s a sucky date and one of you ends up saying “This was fun, I’ll call you,” but you both know full well that’s not going to happen, I still think the dance of the bill should occur.
The dance of course being the guy says, “I’ve got this”, then the girl goes “Oh no, that’s ok, I’ve got it”, then the guy goes “No, please, I insist”, then eventually the guy pays, or they both agree to go Dutch. But alas, this didn’t happen, which leads me to believe that simple manners like this doesn’t even exist anymore.
To me, this simple gesture of not offering to pay is a dating deal breaker. It may seem like a small thing to put so much importance on, but I think these little gestures can explain a lot about a person. It could show that they are self-centered, not generous, and lacking some major social skills.
Another deal breaker I would have to say is having major debt. Listen, I know most people have debt, especially student debt, but most people aren’t very proactive about paying it off or are even aware of the imposition it can be to another person. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been very keen on staying out of debt and building up my personal wealth, but the thought of dating someone who is $50,000 in debt and isn’t really concerned about paying it off is kind of a scary thought. Remember, once you get married, your partner’s debt becomes your debt. And if they have a tendency to wrack up credit card debt, that shopaholic problem becomes your problem too.
I’d say my last deal breaker would be having a major difference in opinion in regards to money. My BF and I are both compatible in that we are pretty frugal people, but we also don’t always want to scrimp and save. We both strive to eventually be financially comfortable, have thriving careers, and actually be able to take a vacation to Hawaii without feeling guilty about it (ok, it’s more me with the guilt thing). However, if we weren’t on the same page about this, it would definitely be a deal breaker.
Why may you ask? Because I know it would be a big source for arguments down the road and would probably be the reason why things wouldn’t work out. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t stand dating someone who didn’t understand why I work several jobs, blog all the time, and periodically set financial goals for myself. And I know my BF wouldn’t be able to have a girlfriend who moped around all the time because he had to frequently work night shifts to make a living.
I’m telling you people, if you want a sure-fire way to find out if your date is going to last long-term, start talking about money.
What is your money related dating deal breakers?