My BF and I were together for 4 1/2 years before we finally moved in together. That may seem like a long wait to some of you, but for us it was the perfect time to do it.
We started dating quite young, I was still in university at the time, and after I graduated, I really wanted to experience living on my own with a roommate for a bit. Once I got that out of my system, my BF and I found an apartment together (albeit with an evil Neighbour) and have been happily shacking up for just over a year now.
Luckily my BF and I are relatively drama-free people, so moving in together was a pretty seamless transition. But even still, I can’t deny that I had my doubts about whether we could live together and stay together.
I’d just heard so many stories of couples who are picture perfect in love, but as soon as they start sharing the same space, they either become too comfortable with each other, thus thrusting their relationship into a strange brother/sister type bond, or worse, they just want to smother their significant other with a pillow in the dead of night.
One story I’ve heard a few times before, and I’m sure you have to, is the one where the couple moves into together, breaks up for whatever reason, then one partner turns into a total douchebag. I know break ups are hard and sometimes bring out the worst in people but adding the whole “what yours is mine” element into the mix is just a recipe for disaster.
If you don’t want your precious autographed guitar to mysteriously go missing or your entire wardrobe to be ruined by the sprinklers on the front lawn, maybe make sure to gradually move your stuff out of your place before you start the “We need to talk” talk.
Another fear I had about making the big move with my BF was the potential financial ruin I could end up in if we were to become common-law. Depending on where you live, you can become common-law after as little as one year. If that isn’t scary enough, you’ve heard about the whole Chad Kroeger ex-girlfriend fiasco right?
They lived together for 7 years, broke up, then she sued him for spousal support. Because she got accustomed to such a lavish lifestyle, she asked for $95,000 per month! He offered her $10,000, and the BC courts granted her $25,000. All this and they weren’t even married! That is one expensive break up.
Now, I know lots of these fears are “what if”s, and neither my BF and I are balls crazy (I think) nor Nickelback rich, but I’m one of those people who lives by the saying “Better safe, than sorry”. If I can prevent something from going wrong, I will.
But even with all of these possibilities, I decided to take a big leap of faith and merge my life with his. You know why? Because I love him, and I knew deep in my heart it would be something I wouldn’t regret. That being said, I definitely think if anyone is thinking about moving in with their girlfriend or boyfriend, it wouldn’t hurt to look into getting a co-habitation agreement to cover your ass. Just saying.
Thoughts?
